Serenity NOW.

Mood: Tired. I shouldn’t go to bed at 2am…
Music: The shrieking of partners.
Game: World of Warcraft, America’s Army, COD2 Demo.
Book: Glory Road, Robert Heinlein.
Muffin: Nope. Not today, either.

Serenity opens today. I’ll be there with Jenny Lee, Cliff, Jenai and her friend, Kevin and his friend, and Colin. 8:20pm tonight, 14th Street.

Today, everything else is trivial.

Let’s try this again…

Mood: Still Pretty Good…
Music: Maybelline, Chuck Berry
Game: World of Warcraft, America’s Army, COD2 Demo.
Book: The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress, Robert Heinlein.
Muffin: Nope. Not today, either.

Today, I upgraded the blog software to v3.2…which supposedly has anti-spam functions built right into the software. I’m pretty pleased that the entire upgrade process took all of twenty minutes. I guess I’m getting more of a handle on how this software is set up.

I was pleased that my profiles, entries, comments, and templates all stayed put.

Now it’s just a matter of time before I see if the anti-spam measures work.

Things Glenn is Excited About:
COD2 – The Demo rocks. Just completely blew me away. I love it.
Serenity – The movie comes out on Friday. You DID get your Firefly boxed set and rewatched the series, right?
Vacation – Off to Seattle on the 8th of October! Whee! A week out of this place!
Work – The claim is pretty much done today! I can actually work on the things I was hired to do!
Sushi – I’m having dinner with friend Pauri tonight! And we’re having sushi at Blue Ribbon…which is, in my opinion, the best sushi in NY.
Computer – Finally fixed iTunes on my computer, so my Shuffle has 5 hours of 50’s Rock and Roll on it today. Which is good working music, in my opinion.

So life is getting better. This is A Good Thing.

Here we go again…

Mood: Pretty good.
Music: None.
Game: World of Warcraft, America’s Army.
Book: The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress, Robert Heinlein.
Muffin: None, but I should have gotten one. I’m hungry. Again.

Well, to start, this morning, my mom got on a plane and headed to Florida for good. New start to a new life. I’m sure she’ll love the new apartment…I’ll just make sure to call her a lot. Probably be lonely and missing New York for a while.

Curiously, whenever I moved to a new city I was always fine for the first couple of months. So much to do and explore…new restaurants, touristy things, reading new newspapers, getting new culture and viewpoints. Learning the tempo. After you sort of worked up the routine, you start missing things. No pizza. Really expensive vegetables. The news doesn’t have this or that. No hockey! Whatever it is. But it usually takes me a while to really start missing things.

I guess we all have our ways of dealing with things.

Anyway, yesterday, I read on Landry’s blog that she was frustrated at the fact that she needed to register to comment. Now, as you’ll probably recall, I turn on required registration in order to foil blogspammers, whom, in my opinion, should be killed very, very slowly with a seafood fork and salad tongs.

Because friend Maria commented on Landry’s blog that it was frustrating her as well, I succumbed to friendly peer pressure, and turned off registration required. Within THIRTY MINUTES, I had six spam entries in my comments. I banned the IPs, deleted the comments, and went about my business.

This morning, I had ten more spam entries. Again, I banned the IPs and deleted the comments.

I will leave the registration requirement alone for now…at least until I have to delete fifty of these obnoxious things a day, at which point, people will have to figure out how to register.

And in response, I expect many, many pithy comments and witty repartee.

It’s only fair.

And it’s a new week.

Mood: Apprehension.
Music: None.
Game: World of Warcraft, America’s Army.
Book: The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress, Robert Heinlein.
Muffin: None, but I should have gotten one. I’m hungry.

So, this week looks to be hectic. Not all bad…in fact, not much bad at all…but it’s an unusual week when I have plans for every night and most of the weekend.

Dinner with friends tonight and Wednesday, Serenity opens on Friday, chores on Tuesday and Thursday, cousin’s wedding on Saturday, taking care of stuff in storage on Sunday.

On top of that, as I write this, there are movers at my Mom’s house, packing up the last of things, and moving stuff out to ship to Florida. Tomorrow, my Mom’s on a plane to move down there for good.

In spite of me living all over the place, my Mom’s never lived anywhere outside of New York. Ever. Brooklyn, Long Island, Manhattan…she even went to school at Cortland, which is in upstate New York. In short, she’s been here pretty much her whole life…and so she’s sad about leaving. I’d imagine that part of the sad is nervous…she doesn’t like being so far away from me and Eric…although Eric moved to Michigan a long time ago and never really looked back.

I suppose as you get older, you like your safety nets more…I know I always have…and she’s headed down to Florida with only my Grandmother and Grandfather as support. It’s really the other way around, I’m pretty sure…she’s there to support them. I think my mother is going to miss her friends, her city, her family, her job…lots of changes for her this year.

She’ll be OK. She’s always been a survivor, and I’m here for her if and when she needs. Of course, my mom, like me, is a control freak, and is probably losing her mind at the moment, trying to direct 4-6 movers at the same time. I hope she just goes out, gets a bagel and some coffee, then comes back to find everything packed. She won’t, of course.

It’s funny how my whole life is scattered like so many seeds across a huge field. My mother will be in Florida, my brother, Michigan. Friends in Boston, Wisconsin, New York, London, Hong Kong, Tokyo. Fookus in Seattle. Keith in Ohio. Cousin in San Francisco.

I’ve heard about people who are born, live, and die, all within a 20 mile radius. Entire towns where everyone knows everybody else. All living together as a community.

What an odd concept.

My community is a fine net, spread over the world. I wonder if it’s generational…or if I’m just different.

Knowing me, I’m probably just different.

Changes, v2.

Mood: Sad.
Music: None.
Game: World of Warcraft, Planetside, Dungeon Siege II.
Book: The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand.
Muffin: None.

Earlier, I wrote about changes…and changes are good. That you need to learn to deal with changes.

Last night, my mother decided to put her cat, Milo, to sleep. Milo is an old cat…a very old cat, really, and he hasn’t been doing well. With my mother moving next week to Florida, she didn’t feel he would handle being moved around so much, and…. Forget the reasons. It’s not important. They were all very rational reasons, and I was slated to take Milo on Saturday, and hold on to him for my mother…except last night, she phoned the vet and today, in a little while, Milo will go to sleep.

Now, I should point out clearly that I don’t particularly care for pets. And it’s not because I don’t love them, or enjoy playing with them, or anything like that…it’s strictly because I have a very, VERY hard time dealing with transience. Pets die. They just do. And when they do, a little bit of you goes, too. I’ve been through it. It sucks…and rather than feel that pain, I try to avoid the whole scenario. I manage to fail at this…but I do try.

Well, in spite of the fact that it’s not my cat, I am pretty torn up about it. It hurts. It hurts moreso because my mother is completely beside herself about it.

When my mother moved to NYC, she was very alone and lonely, and so she got Milo from someone who was going to put him in a shelter. And he’s been a great cat…very quiet, not at all destructive, just kind of a slow, relaxed cat. And my mother had something to take care of…and it made her all OK. The fact that my mother will be losing this tie makes me very, very upset. Seeing my mother this upset upsets me as well. And of course, the entire symbolism of it is pretty painful, too.

Sometimes, changes mean having to let go of things to go on to other things. Sometimes, letting go of things really, really hurts.

Reach Out and Touch Someone…

Mood: Mildly Aggravated.
Music: Turn To You, Go-Gos.
Game: World of Warcraft, Planetside, Dungeon Siege II.
Book: The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand.
Muffin: None.

I wrote this a couple of years ago for a website that isn’t quite dead now…but it might as well be. It’s a shadow of its former self…and that’s too bad.

The Rant is still valid, and I thought some of you might be interested in reading it.

Is this thing on?

Mood: Worn out.
Music: I Have The Touch, Peter Gabriel.
Game: World of Warcraft, Planetside, Dungeon Siege II.
Book: The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand.
Muffin: None.

I hadn’t even realized that I haven’t updated my blog in days. I’ve been kind of busy and distracted.

I spent the weekend clearing out my storage areas. Stuff in there from when I lived on Spring Street…before I went to London in 1996. And stuff added along the way.

My mother is moving to Florida next week. She needed to clear out all her stuff, and she did so. My stuff is slightly more complicated. I packed boxes by flinging anything and everything into a box. I need to unpack boxes, see what’s in them, chuck some, keep others.

I threw out about two carts full of junk yesterday, and I’m about half done. Most of it was old machinery (I threw out two Macintoshes(!) a VCR that’d been in storage for 8 years, cables, old hard drives) and papers. Cancelled checks from when I was in college, old bills, and so on.

Also in that mix was a mess of old housewares, like dishes, towels, and what have you from years and years ago. All gone.

I did manage to find a mess of stuff that I salvaged, like my original memo recommending and creating standardized banner sizes, the list of personnel I got the hotel to print out for me after the bombing in Atlanta so I could check on everyone associated with the AT&T project, and my offer letter from Modem Media. I also salvaged tons of postcards, letters, and cards from friends and family.

I have more on my mind…but it’s jumbled and confused. I’m tired from moving boxes, anxious about changes, and generally worn out about work.

No time to write now…but more when I’ve figured out what’s in my head.

No kidding?

Mood: Unsurprised?
Music: Cities in Dust, Siouxsie and the Banshees.
Game: World of Warcraft, Planetside, Auto Assault Beta, Dungeon Siege II.
Book: The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand.
Muffin: Blackberry-Raspberry.

Michael D. Brown resigned as the head of FEMA yesterday.

Ask me if I’m surprised. Traditionally, when someone in government fucks up as badly as he did, they resign shortly afterwards. Of course, in this case, the fuck up might be considered criminally negligent, and in that case, he needs to be arrested. Of course, our completely out of touch president had his arm around him last week saying “You’re doing a Hell of a job, Brownie.” Yeah…if Hell of a job means that the entire scenario reminds you of Hell.

Brown says he’s resigning because he wants to “avoid distracting the agency at a time when it faces a major challenge.” These are the words of someone who knows he’s not qualified to do the job. The words of someone who IS qualified to do the job are “We did the very best we could given the circumstances, and we’re going to continue to get better as we move on. Let’s focus on getting these people and this city the help it needs. If you feel the need, feel free to rape and second guess me as you will anyway.”

He wasn’t qualified. Not even for a moment. He knew it. So did everyone else. If it weren’t so, can someone please tell me why, after he was pulled from the area, they immediately had a Coast Guard senior officer lined up for the task…a task that CG Officer had performed many, many times before? Can someone tell me why he wasn’t doing it in the first place?

Then, after Brown resigns, they manage to find a former Chief of Fire Rescue for Miami-Dade, who’d spent his entire career in rescue operations before joining the government in 2001 as head of the US Fire Administration. Hm…guy who has no emergency experience at all, and he’s head of FEMA when we have guys with 30-40 years experience in emergency rescue and operations in the government. Is it time to ask why the hell this guy was in the job in the first place?

No. Because truthfully, it’ll never get asked or answered by this administration.

This administration never addresses criticism directly. Never responds to point blank questions…instead it brings up irrelevant issues, throws mud, discredits the questioner, or calls the act of demanding answers “unpatriotic.”

It’s like they KNOW they’re wrong, and instead of answering honest questions with rational answers, they need to obfuscate in order to avoid answering. But that couldn’t be, could it? I mean, why would the government work CONTRARY to the public good? Didn’t we elect these fools?

Well, no…I didn’t. And I suspect that many of you didn’t either. But for those of you who keep saying things like “How could the president have expected a hurricane of this magnitude?!” As if somehow, the criticism blames anyone for the hurricane. The criticism blames the administration for inadequate preparation, and a thoroughly inadequate response to a crisis. The answer to that is always “Well, if those Democrats….” As if politics play a role in rescuing people.

FEMA is claiming they didn’t have permission from the governor to go in. It’s the freaking United States. You don’t need permission to rescue people. We never needed permission to go into Iraq to kill people, why the hell are we stopping in Louisiana?

I don’t understand people sometimes. I just don’t.

Quick Addendum:

Maria’s Blog has a list of ASTOUNDING quotes on it today. If you weren’t angry enough today, try these.

End of an Era.

Mood: Vaguely Sad.
Music: Eminence Front, The Who.
Game: World of Warcraft, Planetside, Auto Assault Beta, Dungeon Siege II.
Book: The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand.
Muffin: None.

At age 44, after 25 years in the NHL, Mark Messier has finally retired.

As far as I’m concerned, that pretty much puts the exclamation point on the missed season last year.

I’m sure I’ll get some flak from sports fans on this one, but Mark Messier was unquestionably the best captain of any sports team in history.

Some will point to others in other sports, or even point to other players in hockey. They’re all wrong. Messier was winning cups in Edmonton…and then they took away Wayne Gretzky, made him Captain. And he won another. Edmonton got rid of Messier to New York, who promptly made it his team (Adam Graves giving up number 11 to his former and future captain…) and led the Rangers to their first Cup in 54 years. Not convinced yet?

Along the way, he did it by scoring a natural hat trick in the third period in Game 6, on the road, against the New Jersey Devils to win that game after being down 2-1 (assisting on Kovalev’s goal in the 2nd) after two periods to bring the series back to the Garden for Game 7. After guaranteeing the night before that the Rangers would win that game in the newspaper.

Sure, you can talk about Babe Ruth’s called home run. You can talk about Namath’s guarantee. Neither one performed a feat as ludicrous as scoring a hat trick in one period against a goaltender like Martin Brodeur to come from behind and win a must win game…after guaranteeing that they would. That’s sheer willpower. No one on the Rangers wanted to make Messier a liar. That’s being a captain.

When the Finals came down to Game 7, Madison Square Garden, series tied 3-3, the tension in the fans was unbelievable. The Rangers, known choke artists for half a century were about to blow it again…but not this time. Not with Messier leading. No way. Messier assists on the first goal: Messier to Zubov to Leetch. 1-0. The Rangers score again, Vancouver responds. 2-1, Messier at the left post to score the third goal, which stands as the Cup winner, as Vancouver scores their second. The last 90 seconds before the game ends was about as tense a 90 seconds as ever experienced by a fan in the history of sports. The Rangers icing the puck, checking madly, chasing pucks, blocking shots, Richter blocking anything and everything, players throwing themselves across the ice to block passes.

Does it happen without Messier on the ice to hold it all together? It doesn’t even get to the Finals. It doesn’t get to Game 7 in the Finals. The single most important reason the Rangers win the Cup. Yes, Leetch, Zubov, Kovalev…all brilliant. Richter phenomenal. People will talk about The Stop, the penalty shot Richter stopped against Pavel Bure in Game 1, forever. But Messier…none of it happens without him.

I own a lot of hockey sweaters. Some game-worn, some game-intended, some replicas, some authentic unworns. The sweater I own the most of? Messier. Number 11.

I was at his last game. I watched him score his last goal. In his spot, top of the left circle, in that trademark Messier wrist shot, right leg up, parallel to the ice. Usually, a left handed shot will shoot off his right leg…not Messier…never did. There must be a million photos of that pose. He shoots, he scores.

After he scored, the Sabres just cleared the bench and gave him a standing ovation. You couldn’t have quieted the crowd. Have you EVER seen an opposing team applaud a goal scored against them? EVER? We knew we were watching his last game. He knew it. We knew it. The Sabres knew it.

After the game, with the lights out, he skated out, no helmet, spotlights on him, and bowed. He bowed to the fans, each corner of the Garden. The crowd was louder than they were when they retired Richter’s number. They were louder than they were when they won the Cup…maybe not. But damned close. I couldn’t hear a thing. The Sabres came out and hugged him, applauded, the Rangers surrounded him, hugging him, and I swear they were crying.

According to the stories in the papers, after the game, Messier spent about 2 hours signing autographs…for his teammates. His coaches. The trainers. The opposing team. No fans…just the people he played with, worked for, and led, for years. He knew.

If there’s one thing that makes it almost OK that I don’t have season tickets…it’s knowing that I don’t have to sit there and watch a Rangers team without a captain. Who do you make captain of the New York Rangers? Jagr? Are you kidding? There’s no one with history, heart, soul…leadership abilities.

They’ll recover, the Rangers. They always do. But this one is going to hurt.

Hell, it hurts now. And probably for a while to come.

Changes…

Mood: Sore, with a chance of light pain…
Music: Life Is What You Make It, Talk Talk.
Game: World of Warcraft, Planetside, Auto Assault Beta, Dungeon Siege II.
Book: The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand.
Muffin: Strawberry-Raspberry.

Life, when you get right down to it, is a series of changes. Some are gradual, some are immediate, some are chosen, and some are forced upon you. My life is no exception to that rule.

I think that, fundamentally, people resist change. And I am no exception to THAT rule. I get nervous when I think about not having anchors. People, places, things. When you move, get married, lose friends, make new friends, find a new job…yes, there’s excitement. But also, the fear…the feeling that you’re giving up something for the chance at something better. But what if it’s NOT better?

This can be trivial, such as trying a new place for lunch instead of going to the old hangout. Or it can be a literal life upheaval, picking up, quitting your job, and moving from Hong Kong to New York, losing your fiancee in the process.

Curiously, I’ve survived both of them.

Generally, I have, in the past, been as terrified of change as terrified of not being able to change. Some people view this as silly. I view it as being too afraid to go forward and too afraid to fall back. I didn’t want to change my situation, and was afraid to solidify my position. I definitely paid for that.

Yesterday, in a roundabout method, my boss offered me a brand new iPod Shuffle for about $60. I grabbed it. I have a perfectly functional iPod, with 30 gigs on it…what possible use could I have for a 512Mb Shuffle? I don’t know…but I do know that it brightened my whole day. I’m listening to it now, and I love it. It has no display, no way to see what’s next, no way to sort, or look for a song…and I don’t care a bit. It is exactly how I use my iPod. I set it on play, and if I don’t want to listen to that song, I hit forward, and skip it. I love it.

I quit the Guild that I helped start, and joined a new one. I am now getting more and more absorbed in the higher level content of WoW…and loving it. I have the flexibility that comes with having a large band of people on your side. I am earning more loot, getting better equipment, and having a generally great time running instances. It’s jumpstarted my enjoyment of WoW to a new level.

Last week, a new place for lunch opened up by where I work, called Tuk Tuk. It’s a Thai/Asian place. And it’s excellent. The places we’ve been having lunch have been getting kinda old, and so this place was a huge step up from what we’ve been eating. The neighborhood needed Asian…and now I can get an awesome bowl of Pho for lunch.

Lately, smaller things in my life have been moving towards teaching me how to change…some slow changes, some by seizing opportunity, some rapidly evolving.

I am learning to deal with change. Sort of like a warmup for big changes.

While this sounds strange, the guy who had a bag with a change of clothes, a passport, a toothbrush, and a wallet full of frequent flier cards in case he had to go to a country in which they didn’t speak English on a moment’s notice to stay for a month never really learned to deal with change.

It’s funny…but sort of makes sense. I am VERY good at handling a situation. Throw me in a crisis, or give me a problem, I will resolve it. Doesn’t matter how big or small. I solve things. I’m not always right, and I’m not always the most efficient, but I do not hesitate for an answer. I “see” the right way, and can attack.

Provided it has nothing to do directly with my life.

Terrorist blowing up your year-long planned onsite event website? No problem. Planned for. Auto-shutoffs, auto-switchovers, and alternate development locale. In the span of 1 hour. In the middle of the night. In a distant city.

Need to recover money from a loser office in Tokyo? How’s saving 2.8 million in 5 months? Not enough? Fine. Close it then. Closed in 5 months…recovering all debts, and wrenching waivers of liability from all (former) clients. Well done, Glenn. How exactly do you handle firing/laying off 40 friends? (By giving yourself an ulcer, and telling yourself that if it weren’t you, it’d be someone who didn’t care.)

But if someone asks me if I’d like to try a new restaurant in Chinatown, my answer is “No. Why?” I have a restaurant in Chinatown. Why would I ever consider switching? What could be better?

But that’s changing…like everything else.

Big changes coming. Soon.

Soon.